Excuse me, you do what exactly?

Advice from a PhD on how to talk about your PhD

Isolation in the academic ivory tower
will do you no favors. Royce Hall, UCLA. 

The atmosphere is light and airy. Birds are twittering to each other, glasses gather condensation in the warm spring air.  I sip my crisp and fruity sauvignon blanc as I bounce between groups of people. I am participating in a ballroom dance of business cards, a rhythmic samba of networking. And then, as I knew it would, THE question comes.

"So what is is that you do?"

Sigh.

How on earth can you follow "I am getting my PhD in Molecular Toxicology" with a normal conversation?

Let me suggest several methods I have employed.

1. Dumb it down. 
Say 'I work in a lab' or if you are feeling really flashy maybe 'I study how pesticides are linked to Parkinson's disease.' People generally either appreciate the simplification or are insulted by it.  This takes a good read.  If you are not a good read of people, this approach may leave you standing alone in the corner staring into your beverage. Depending on the crowd, this might not be such a bad thing.

2. Nonchalance.  
That's right I am a PhD student. No. big. deal. Aren't you?

3. Divert. 
'Oh, I have been talking about myself all night. What I would really love to hear is more about your work' or some sort of flattering mumbo jumbo like that.  Works perfect to butter up those over inflated egos.  If there is one thing you can do to endear yourself to people, it's to allow them to talk about themselves.  It can be very painful indeed, but it allows for some excellent time to plan tomorrows workday or fantasize about life after PhD (read: backpack

ing stint in South America)


Networking outside your field matters
Inevitably, at some point you will have the chance to network outside of your elitist specialized conference cohort.  You must realize that in the wrong crowd, an improper explanation of what it is exactly that you do will make you sound like an egotistic academic brat.  And it's not because people studying to get their PhDs are smarter than everyone else. In fact, after the painstaking and bankrupting process of pursuing a PhD many may argue to the contrary.  It's that we speak a different language then everyone else.  A language full of acronyms and subtle inferences. It may sound like English, but don't fool yourself, it is not.

So do yourself a favor. Realize that the most valuable networking experiences are often not those with your colleagues but with those who do nothing related to you at all.  Why on earth would this help you to get a job? Because these people know people.  People have family and friends and friends of friends and they might do what you do.  They might hire you in fact. But not if you don't know how to sell your science. Or at a minimum speak about your job in English, not scientific jargon.

More on marketing your science to the public. In the meantime, keep it simple stupid.